Franky, me and yous hasa beef. I wanna to work the west side and yousa wanna to work the west side. How do we solve this beef? - cause right now, we are alls balled-up, capish? (Yeah, I knows that is Sicilian but I like a the way "capish" sounds.) Anyways, we gotsa four ways to deal with our beef:
1. Well, I am a powerful man but yous are a powerful man also. Maybe yous gotsa more power than me? Maybe I gotsa more power than yous? Maybe we take yous for a ride and yous loose both your knee caps or worse you wear some cement shoes and go sleep with the fish.
2. Or we could ask some palooka to make the decision for us? But maybe, we don't like the decision and then we take the palooka for a ride and bump off the bird.
3. We could also go to some joint that helps people with a beef. Kinda like #2, except this palooka is there to help us have a "constructive dialogue" - whatever that is. We'll havta find out. He says he has no power but, I am told, he sure looks intimidating. Anyways, this palooka gives us alls the power to make a decision, but we gotsa share the power. He's no big cheese or bull. He just helps us to not beat our gums and not get anything done. I knows he's gonna ask us, "Why?" Why do we each wanna work the west side? He's also gonna ask us to be nice to each other - like we just went to charm-school or something. He's saying we may even get 100% of what we each want. Yeah, I know whata dreamer! He sounds all wet and filled with baloney. I even heard his name rhymes with baloney.
4. Hey Franky, maybe he's aright. But we don't needa this palooka. I'll tell you why I wanna work the west side and I can be nice. Alls I'm saying is the west side is very important to me and yous are important to me - yousa like a brother to me. Why don't we meet at some juice-joint and hava a "constructive dialogue." Together, we can level with each other and, maybe, we walk away with both knee caps, what we want, and we still be friends, capish? Huh, I kinda sounda like a one of those hard-boiled peacemakers. I hope that is copacetic with yous.
(Photo by Jason "Red Beard" Wedehase)